no one needs to read

I don't expect anyone will read this and I am kinda hopin no one will. I just started doing this to get crap off of my chest that no one else cares, nor wants to hear. I am basically just sitting here wallowing in my own self pity. I am in thought that I am not good enough for anyone. I have been told that I basically have nothing to offer. When I truly think about it, I think maybe it is true. I have no career, I am not book smart, I have no friends, I have two kids with two different fathers, I am not pretty, I do not have a good physique, I am such here. I can say I do feel as though I have a good heart. But that has gotten me nowhere. I don't treat a certain individual right. He seems to think that I am someone I am not. I have always felt that I am not good enough and there is nothing really to me. I wish I was not so negative. I have once again been given the brush off because I am too sensitive and insecure. I ruin things for myself with others because I dislike myself so. I want an out. I want an out from me. I want a change. I don't understand what my purpose is here. Really, what is life all about anyway. You grow up with hopefully a good family enviroment, then bam the real world. You get into relationships that make no sense, get treated like crap in them, maybe you are lucky enough to find true love, that is if there is such a thing. You have kids, praying that they don't grow up to hate you. You get shoved to the side and all for what. what is the finished result, is the afterlife our prize. I am tired of feeling not good enough, tired of people turning me away without truly getting to know me, tired of me for the way that I am, tired of trying with those that are not deserving, tired of putting the worth of myself on the opinions of others. I am tired!!